The Poor Dear

Now that I am a whopping eight weeks in to being a mother to three children, and not crying hysterically when my husband leaves for work, I see that it isn't as scary as I feared. Is it hard? Yes. Is it insane? Yes. Is it loud? Yes. Is it exhausting? Absolutely. But it isn't THAT scary!
The fear of the unknown I guess is the problem. Because when you get pregnant with your third child you know the pregnancy part is hard.You know giving birth is emotional and exhausting. But you also know that you will recover from all of that. And in my case I recover quickly. Thank goodness!
But the fear of the unknown plays tricks on you. You psyche yourself out of thinking you can't breastfeed and take dinner out of the oven at the same time. You tell yourself you can't wipe the four year olds butt with a crying baby in your arm while your cell phone is ringing and it's the person who told you they'd take your eight year old home from school but now cannot because their daughter has lice. You think you can't take a shower and put on make up ever again.
But I can and have done all of these things!
When I see people who I'm not used to seeing or speaking to on a daily basis I get the same question every time: "How are you DOING?" They put emphasis on the DOING part as if I am terminally ill, or just found out my dog was run over by a semi. They look at me with sad eyes, and wonder what they would do if they were in my shoes.
Now don't get me wrong. We have had some extreme generosity over the last couple of months from the Jewish community. We have some serious good karma to repay because the meals, and the gifts and the kindness has been so wonderful and telling of how people feel about us as a family. But when I hear "How are you DOING?" I want to ask if these people know something that I do not. Did my husband run off with a bar maid? Did I walk outside with underwear on my head? Do I look THAT bad?! I can't remember a time in my life where I have been asked how I am doing more than now.

Let's just say this.

I am doing better than I expected. I am doing well even! Mainly because I am still me! I just happen to have leaking breasts and a big diaper bag to cart around right now.

Of course tomorrow I could take back ALL of what I just typed out and change my mind. I could curl into a ball and cry and say "NO NO TAKE THEM ALL BACK!" But isn't that why Vodka was invented? Or maybe this is why I like Vodka so much?

Either way, I have a back up plan just in case I decide I am NOT doing so well anymore!